Love&Hate

Recently I've had this feeling that I just can't shake off.
Ever since Tom broke up with me it feels like theres a huge hole where he used to be, I miss the way he always used to be at the end of the phone and the way he'd just sit on the phone and let me shout and scream when I was upset.
He was the most perfect guy, Everything I'd ever wanted all rolled into one perfect human being, He made me laugh and smile when I was upset, He would do little cute things like kiss my nose and leave me unexpected notes under my pillow for when he'd left, Everything we had was so perfect and felt so right.
I thought we'd have a future together, We seemed like such a perfect couple. He was my other half...In more ways than one, Tom made me feel whole and alive. Before I was so dead inside and didnt feel worth anything at all, but he turned that all around, I felt alive and wanted for the first time in a very long time....
I know that things can never go back to how they were before because he doesn't love me anymore, But sometimes I just wish everytime the phone rings, or the doorbell goes it would be him coming to tell me he made a mistake and that he still loves me, and everytime I'm dissapointed. I feel like an unwanted toy at Christmas, Discarded and Broken, Unwanted and Faulty. It hurts everyday and that pain never feels like its going away, Its like a giant aching hole that seems to grow everytime someone talks to me about him.

I just hope that the pain eventually goes away and I can get back to my normal self, Having fun with my friends and being the bubbly happy girl that I used to be.




I don't want to be broken anymore......




Lisa-Marie xoxoxox